Whenever anyone considers dealing with the federal government their thinking automatically leaps toward a complicated process riddled with inefficiencies and frustrations. “And”, he said with a wink and a fading, sympathetic smile, “I am not going to tell you differently because in most cases you are absolutely correct.”
However, working with Enterprise Development for a 504 fixed-rate commercial loan actually breaks the stereotype. Not just breaks the stereotype, but body slams it, hits it with a folding chair, pulls out brass knuckles from under the ring and… Whoa, wait a minute… Sorry, I think these previous sentences give clues to my misspent youth which was consumed in front of a TV drinking Mountain Dew, eating Cheetos and watching professional “Rasslin’.” Me, Grandma (mawmaw as I called her) and Rufus R. Jones versus Harley Race; good times… Oh right… the loan…moving forward.
I have discussed the full 504 process from beginning to end in past articles, but not the actual nuts and bolts of applying. The bank will obviously have a large number of forms for the applicant to complete. The awesome thing about the 504 program is that most of the forms used by the bank can also be used by Enterprise Development. We require only 3 extra forms. AND, they are very short, I might add. To help put this in perspective, here are five things that require more forms to be completed than a 504 loan. Drum roll…..
5. Getting a tattoo often requires more forms than the 504 loan. The next time you choose to have an intricate design shot under your skin with a screaming needle and ink, think “I could have got a 504 loan.”
4. Flying around the forest canopy on a zipline wearing an unflattering hat and wardrobe wrinkling harnesses often requires more forms than a 504 loan.
3. Bungee jumping requires more forms than the Enterprise 504 loan. So the next time you willingly choose to be a human piñata, please think “I could have gotten a 504 loan.”
2. Eating hot wings at some restaurants require more forms than the Enterprise 504 loan. I will share a story with you, offline of course, about the dangers of hot wings and the necessity of signing release forms before consumption. This was not good pain.
1. Voluntarily jumping out of a perfectly good airplane requires more forms than applying for a 504 loan.
The 504 process, from the borrower's perspective, really is that simple.
Three forms, fixed interest rates for up to twenty years and very few bureaucratic strings attached…? It really is one heck of a good deal.